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Island

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Where was the TSA?'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Audio Books

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Bears going water skiing.

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

It is a lesser known historical fact that Sir Edmund Hillary was also the first person to climb Mount Everest and forget to take the lens cap off.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Breakthrough

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."