Reptile Collector Pillows

'Oooo! Oooo! There it goes again! That unbearable itch inside my shell!'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Crocodile

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Snake Eyes

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

'Hi Mom He followed me home, Can I keep him'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"You've got a friend in me."

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"