Reproductive Researcher Gifts

The Germ and the Sperm

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

Everyone's Got an Opinion but No One Is Willing to Take a Chance for It

Restrictive Abortion Laws

"Are we there yet?"

Scientific reaction to the news of declining sperm counts was mixed.

"I know, I know... But I thought he would bring down the price of eggs."

Ringing the Doorbell

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"What if she's not my type?"

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

"Really. I'll just come in for a minute."

Pro-Life Pete

SCOTUS

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

The Russians build another wall.

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

"Thanks to our wonderful research team we can now offer you gender choice at birth and puberty."

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

'Woodruff, find out everything you can on a crazy thing called 'love'.'

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

'Be advised that I am not going to consider those who don't bring their resume!'

Little man under a microscope with binoculars.

"I was thinking we could settle down. And when the time comes, two to seven days in the spring. When your only actually fertile for twenty fourt to thirty six hours, we could try and start a family."

Morning After Pill

'YOU ordered the morning after pill!'

'Its the pill you have when you haven't had your pill.'

"I've finished all the background checks and consulted a psychological profiler to see if they can identify any problem areas."

"It's probably for people who don't want kids."

"Fascinating. The rats choose chocolate nine times out of ten, but they always feel guilty about it later."

Philip Gunn

Abortion ruling