Replay Reviewer T-Shirts

"You know a game is close when every time you watch the replay the result changes."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

The Music Critic.

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

The Critic...

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Before instant replay.

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"You call that a suit?"

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."