Repair Pillows

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Lazy plumber.

"I believe you wanted a light bulb changed."

Bob’s Museum

'I certainly hope it doesn't take me as long to pay the bill as it did for you to get the part.'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Are you the guy who called about his air conditioner being stuck 'on'?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

It was humming. What did you expect me to do? Teach it the words?

'We've run all the tests doc and I can't find a thing wrong with it. It must be psychological.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

Plumber, Builder and Electrican tied up, man saying - '...But if I let them go, what happens next time we need work done on the house??'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

In case of fire - Break glass.

Say it with flowers.

'Brian, stop! Some things can't be fixed with WD40.'

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

DIY store.

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

'It's the plumber ... '

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

Joe's Fixit Shop: Closed for repairs.

'Oh yes, Leomard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

"This is the toughest part of my job... telling a guy his car can't be repaired!"

'Here's your problem, mate. You know nothing about cars, and I could be telling you any old rubbish.'

A DIY disaster.

'It starts up OK, then gets stuck in traffic.'

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

'How come 'super glue' doesn't stick to the inside of the tube?'

Elmer's eyeglasses, free repairs: 'They got ran over by a bus.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'