Repair Pillows

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Lazy plumber.

"I believe you wanted a light bulb changed."

'I certainly hope it doesn't take me as long to pay the bill as it did for you to get the part.'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

Bob’s Museum

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Are you the guy who called about his air conditioner being stuck 'on'?'

In case of fire - Break glass.

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Plumber, Builder and Electrican tied up, man saying - '...But if I let them go, what happens next time we need work done on the house??'

'We've run all the tests doc and I can't find a thing wrong with it. It must be psychological.'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

It was humming. What did you expect me to do? Teach it the words?

DIY store.

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

Say it with flowers.

'Brian, stop! Some things can't be fixed with WD40.'

'How come 'super glue' doesn't stick to the inside of the tube?'

"This is the toughest part of my job... telling a guy his car can't be repaired!"

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

A DIY disaster.

'Here's your problem, mate. You know nothing about cars, and I could be telling you any old rubbish.'

'It starts up OK, then gets stuck in traffic.'

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

Elmer's eyeglasses, free repairs: 'They got ran over by a bus.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Sorry it's so dark in here - We've got a short circuit somewhere.'

Joe's Fixit Shop: Closed for repairs.

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

'It's the plumber ... '