Repair Wrangler Pillows

'I thought you understood the estimate didn't include parts and labor.'

Jack of all trades

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

CLEAR!

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

'No it's still not fixed'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Home maintenance

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Working in recovery of Hurricane

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

'Of course I'm not mad. What makes you think I'm mad?!'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Baldo, you've been at that all day! I thought you said you can fix this thing 15 minutes!"