Remodeling Wrangler Pillows

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

High Riders of the Old West

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, I'm driving.'