Repair Job Master Pillows

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Fixing the TV.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

"Frosty the Repairman"

"Was it a fuse?"

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"You're late."

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Remote control car breakdown.

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."