Repair Job Fanatic Pillows

"Just buy a new one. It's over 40 years old. That must be about 160 in toilet years."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Timber preservation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Nap time."

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."