Renovation Expert Pillows

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

Painting by the numbers for adults

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I found the termites!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

We're putting on a subtraction.

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'How are you doing on your side?'

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."