Remote Work Humorist Gifts

"Most of all, I enjoy being able to work at home."

'The all work in their own homes now, but they still get together for carpool reunions.'

Watercooler moments weren't quite the same since Norman started working from home.

"Can't we just do this online?"

'Hi mom... at the moment, I'm working at my home office...'

Working from home.

"Sorry, no. Doctor Rivera is working from home today."

The Grim Reaper Works From Home

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"I'm working from home today."

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"

Employee of the Month Parking

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Comments? Thoughts? Anyone?'

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Performance management: "We decided to get rid of the carrot and keep the stick."

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"