Remote Schooling Survivor Gifts

"Remember son, school days, best days of your life."

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"Have you heard? This year they want us to be tenaciously scholastic even in the bathroom."

"So. . . now we know - being home is not the same as being home to be schooled. . ."

"Not the 'Princeton Experience' he was expecting."

"Eee sir! I'd completely forgotten that you've got legs!"!

"I thought that assignment from my school was spam."

Bio. Your paper on photosynthesis is due Wednesday. English. The quiz on Thoreau's nature writing is on Wednesday. History. Read the chapter on how frontier expansion affected the environment for Wednesday. Teachers have totally polluted Earth Day.

Working from home.

All of this is very doable-

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

University Challenged

Please wait to be yelled at.

"I have to go to school, then get a job, and then pay for my own stuff. Life is so unfair!"

"O.K., Summer Breaks is over. Back to hell."

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."

'It's a moat.'

"I must be out of memory"

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

"What's wrong, Lassie? Did Timmy forget his remote learning login username and password again?"

'Working at home is nice.. this way, I don't have to worry about my boss harassing me..'

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

"While I am concerned about your son, I'm more worried about your dog. He has eaten an awful lot of homework."

Breakout Room

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