Remote Control Rivalry Pillows

Couple trying to turn each other off with a remote control

"All this swearing and violence."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Toy plane with pilot eject.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Remote Control Duck

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"...and in conclusion..."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

Lazy Rower.

Remote control wars.

Remote control car breakdown.

Submarine Hunter.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"You seem very remote."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"You have repetitive motion injury."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'Since when did they change 50 years from 'Golden Anniversary' to 'Remote Control Anniversary?''

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

2016 Policlicks

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

'You had to go one better, didn't you?' - Remote Control implant.

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'