Remote Control Mastery Gifts

"What should we watch—sports or home improvement?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

TV-Man

Toy plane with pilot eject.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Homo Zapiens

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"...and in conclusion..."

Remote Control Duck

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Penguin Remote

Lazy Rower.

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Remote control wars.

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

Remote control car breakdown.

Submarine Hunter.

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

Mind control

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

Man Sitting On Park Bench Feeding Batteries To Drones.

"You seem very remote."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"