Reluctant Speller Gifts

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"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

Back to school anchor

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

'There's nothing on the telly!'

Summer Reading

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

'Do we have to stop?... I was hoping to forget about education for a while.'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'It's embarrassing, but on page 74, there's an accidentally-corrected misprint.'