Reluctant Hiker Pillows

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I am not asking for directions."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

The US election is over.

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"How to deal with weeds."

"Endless Summer III"

'I'm out of bags.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

Airline concerns.

How to deal with weeds

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

"You know your problem, Monte? There's more to life than always checking how your stocks are doing."

"Yes, it is true! I've finally persuaded Derek to take a holiday."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

'He stated jogging to work.'