Reluctant Entertainer T-Shirts

"They never showed up-they were the perfect guests."

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"My art speaks for itself."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"Archie always understands when I tell him I'm dog tired."

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"Next up is Alex's dad who's going to tell us all about the job that he has and feels desperately trapped in."

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

'A clown? What makes you think you could be a clown?'

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Obscenity-recognition software. It's for people who hate computers, but have to use them.

'Bloody Climbing Experience Gifts. Bloody grand children. Why couldn't they have given me a pair of slippers!'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

Covid-19 Protection: Your own mime box.