Relocation Guru T-Shirts

Careless movers.

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

You are here.

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Moving in

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

While You Were Out: We Moved!

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Emigrating to France.

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I found the perfect job! You don't do any work, stay at home, make funny videos, and you get full salary and benefits!!"

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'One ticket to wherever my luggage is going, please.'

"When he asked us to help him move, I didn't know he meant south."