Religious Upbringing Appreciator Pillows

"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and what the heck, bless my little brother Charles, too."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Finger puppets in church.

Proud mums.

Jesus and the Peeps

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

"That isn't allowed either."

Two friars ringing bells

"But why would anyone, especially the meek, want to inherit the earth?"

Mary and Joseph's Social Media Page

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

'4th Sunday before Easter... and 5th before my holiday!'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'I remember baptising him when he was a baby, and that was the last I saw of him until he rolled in here today.'

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

"OMG, a right wing, ultra conservative, radical religious nut."

'Which father is the father?'

Nadal's bottles

Indian Face Painting

"That's just sick."

'If I'm born again, will I have two birthdays a year?'

"Three kings and we still can't get a room upgrade?"