Religion Researcher Pillows

Today's Sermon: If you're unhappy with government intervention, try divine intervention.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Poughkeepsie!"

"It's part of His new diversity program."

John Calvin

Door-to-Door Bible Site Salesman

'Noah gets off to a bad start'

'Psst - wanna take part in an exciting chemical experiment?'

"Get out there and give me 2 'Our Fathers'. 3 'Hail Marys' and an 'Act on Contrition'...!"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Yes, all at once!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

How world war III started.

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

The ten ammendments

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."