Religion Interpreter Gifts

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Dialogue

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

She - Interpreter - He.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Orator translates in many languages.

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Just my luck."

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Religion & Economics.

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

Simultaneous translation.

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

The International Date Line