Bible Interpreter Gifts

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Dialogue

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

She - Interpreter - He.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"I have an app for that."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Signing the declaration of independence.

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

Noah posted his first tweet.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Moses gets REALLY lost in the desert.

Orator translates in many languages.

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."