Religion And Sports Ponderer Gifts

"Bless me father for I have been sin binned"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Please take your receipt!'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"How long has he been missing?"

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

Mounted Devil

"I've been saved! Thank God!"

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

"Ok, this is awkward."

'Satan wants to meet you on Main Street at high noon.'

Religion Through the Ages