Religion And Sports Ponderer Gifts

"Bless me father for I have been sin binned"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

"How long has he been missing?"

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Evolution of God. . .

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

Mounted Devil

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

Randy, great news: I've become a person of faith. Which faith? The main one. the hip one. you know - the one used in all the red states. Or maybe the one Madonna and Tom Cruise are into. Either way, I'm deeply committed. You should be.

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"I've been saved! Thank God!"

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

"Ok, this is awkward."

"We do pretty well when you stop to think that people are basically good."