Relationship Pillows

"I'm sorry, dear. I wasn't listening. Could you repeat what you've said since we've been married?"

'Don and I rarely fight. Then again, we rarely talk.'

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

"How can an algorithm work out what I want for my birthday, but you still think I want a blender?"

Critics In Love

"Clearly, there are things we really should have discussed sooner!"

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"I'm rich, you're thin. Together, we're perfect."

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?'

"I wish you'd stop being so negative"

Emocean.

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"You're not really into this, are you, Frank?"

"I just thought we should talk more."

"Let's not forget who wears the plumage in this family."

'When Jack became immortal, something went out of our marriage.'

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'I drink because I can't stand my wife since she got fat'...'I comfort eat because I can't stand living with a lousy alcoholic.'

'Oh great, we break down in the middle of nowhere and the only spare tyre we have is the one around your waist!'

'You never listen to me, you only hear what you wanna hear!'

"I don't know what I ever saw in him. I was hoping a fresh set of eyes might see something I missed."

With the children all off to college, Gwen has been told this was the time to focus on Gus and rekindle their romance.

'You've turned off your hearing aid again, haven't you?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"You can't buy forgiveness with airline miles, Charles."

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"Before we get going, is this the Big One?"

'And if you think it isn't yours I'll see you at the DNA testing!'

"When you say 'Do we have enough life insurance?' I assume you mean me."

"You know, Marion, one of the things that has stood the test of time is these tassel oxfords."

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'When you said we had common ground I didn't think it would be this common.'

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'