Relationship Talk Fan Prints

"Have you given your daughter the 'Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free' speech?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

'Marry me!'

Revenge Graffiti.

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"This now concludes our broadcast day."