Relationship Statistician Pillows

Sex at the office.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Sexual chemistry set

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Relationships.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."