Relationship Researcher Pillows

'I enjoyed being with him and all, but we didn't like to binge-watch the same shows.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Sexual chemistry set

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Awkward First Dates

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"