Relationship Resolutions Pillows

'And lastly, I resolve to be a better listener in the new year...'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"You've changed."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Romance

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Always Compatible

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

'Has Oprah ever been married?'