Relationship Reminders Pillows

'This beeper goes off when it's my Birthday. This beeper goes off on the day we met. This beeper goes off on Valentine's Day...'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Romance

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"You've changed."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"We don't talk anymore."

The Map of the Human Heart

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

Bee to othe: 'You knew I was a workaholic when we first met.'