Relationship Reminiscer Pillows

"My ex husband could always make me laugh. Especially when he brought home his paycheck."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

He's just discovered on 'Friends Reunited' that his ex-wife is now called 'George' and living with a swimwear model in Dorking.

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

'Who was that Brad?' 'Ahh,just an old girlfriend of mine.' (an old lady walking away in background)

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'You're always living in the past.'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Aaah yes, the stampede of July 1810: Good times...'

Griller highlights never gets old

'He's revisiting his childhood.'

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

"It's a fortuitous coincidence that the greatest moments in music history were when I was in high school."

'Remember when we used to catch small fish by the bucket full.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'That one was taken on our wedding day, when he was young, handsome and in love. That other one was taken when he was older, more mature and a pain in the neck.'

'I was just remembering the good old days - I had two of them!'

"I once loved a parade."

The Old Elves Home

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."