Relationship Reality Check Mugs

"She got everything, including your mistress."

Computer threatens to tell wife.

"We don't talk anymore."

"I just broke up with my boyfriend. He said if I really loved him, I would get a job and help him buy a car."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'If it weren't for my husband, we'd be the perfect couple.'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

'I still love you - I just think we need some time away from each other.'

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"I'm sorry darling, did I just say, 'I hate you with every micro-fiber of my being'?"

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

"My orgasm was fake."

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

'Our relationship will never work Whenever it gets interesting, you've got to rush to the surface for air'

'I wish you would tell people that I've been 'kicked upstairs' instead of I've been 'given the boot'.'