Relationship Reassessment Mugs

'I'm afraid I don't see a future with Brent, he still calls them 'freedom fries'.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"We don't talk anymore."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

'I still love you - I just think we need some time away from each other.'

"No one rides off into me anymore."

"There's men for you: here today, gone today!"

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'You keep asking me to change when I can't remember what from.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Sex Score

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

'Nothing personal, I just prefer the old campy version of you.'

'Sex is good!'