Relationship Puzzle Enthusiast Pillows

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

Can You Spot the Differences?

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"You don't whisper anymore."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

'Good news and bad...good, we can use you as spare parts for other people...'

"No one else, huh! So who the hell is sending you a pigeon at four in the morning?!"

Everyone thinks they can do it

Zorro does algebra.

"O.K. Where is he?"

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

Accountant to job seeker: 'Any skills besides being good at Sudoku?'

"And that explains 'non-fungible tokens'."

Man comes home late from work to angry wife.

The importance of having your Is tested.

Wordplay: Self-seeking.

"I want you to have it. It's a lock of my hair replacement."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

'Hey, it's helped me get this video game generation interested in math...'

'If two negatives make a positive, how come two wrongs don't make a right?'

'I'm worried about him. He's becoming emotionaly involved with the vacuum cleaner.'

'Next 25 miles pass on right. This is for a psychological test.'

"I'm afraid I'm just not up on this new math..."