Relationship Philosopher T-Shirts

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'It's not you, it's your carbon footprint.'

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Don't let this beautiful weather fool you into thinking everything's fine."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Last one, Joe...I promised myself I'd only marry the man who could correctly finish this sentence...The perfect man is...'

"Don't try to rescue me, Wanda. I'll just drag you to the bottom, just like everybody else!"

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'We weren't compatible. I'm all Facebook while he's so Myspace.'

Woman sits on one-half of desert island that has been split in two: 'Call it intuition, Harold, but I feel as if we're drifting apart.'

"Please stop looking at me like now I'm gonna propose."

"I can't help but think that things might have turned out differently if we had never met."

'It would never work. I'm from Venus, you're from Mars.'

'When you grow up, how many times do you plan to get married?'

"Sorry, Greg, but our Venn diagrams don't overlap anywhere."

"I've never had a relationship with you! I've just had 465 one night-stands with the same person!"

"Well, was it something I said?"

"Don't be too upset. If we were meant to have good sex, we probably would have married other people."

"My wife wants to spend Halloween with her first husband."

'But why, Brenda?! Why can't it work out?!'

"No, but I do thing there should be a law against no-sex marriage."

'Let it go, man. I really don't think your ex expects you to break out to attend her wedding. I think she's moved on.'

The Daisy: 2005

"So this is me."

"You meditated once."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'You've changed.'

'Sorry, dear, but it was time for me to move on.'

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get back at Josh by sleeping with his avatar?"

"I call him my 'Old flame' because he really burns me up!"

"If no two snowflakes are alike, what chance do we have of being compatible?"

'Wayne, have you ever given any thought to changing completely?'

"I want you to be able to feel that you can hide anything from me."

"Look, you've been great. It's just that we'd like to start seeing other marriage counsellors."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the years of twisted head games."