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War & Peace

In the Guru District

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Commutobile

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?