Relationship Adventurer Gifts

'That's a cougar, come along, we're here to see the monkeys.'

"The Safety Word is 'Owwwwwwwwwww!'"

'I'm serious. If you crave more action, try age-appropriate dating. Sexy women 50 to 75 are an under-served demographic.'

'I'm getting mixed signals!'

'You don't like bananas? You don't like climbing trees? My dear, why have you hid this for all these years??'

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

"Oi! Come back here! This ain't what a lady expects on a first date!"

"Anyway enough of me talking about me for a while, why don't YOU talk about me instead."

"I'm updating my relationship status to, complicated."

'Optimist!'

'Looks like he's had enough.'

Marriage Counseling.

"Wake up, Harold—you're dreaming again."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

Man dating a punk covered in plasters

"We're shipwrecked, stranded on this desert island, then to make matters worse for you...I'm a lesbian!"

Another new position?

'You sure you've done this before?'

'That was quite a class reunion -- ALL my ex-husbands were there!'

"Well, goodbye, Emily. It's May 19th. You may remember my having mentioned some time ago that I was going to leave you on May 19th."

Shepherd and eurydice

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Relationship Warning Lights

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

A married couple share the same pole vault.

"This will be hilarious!"

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

Asking out a palm reader.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"