Regulator Gifts

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'Just a minute!'

"And, in a move sure to attract the attention of regulators, the private sector made a bid to acquire the public sector."

Government 101 - Do not walk.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

Stethoscope line.

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

Herd of Hedge Fund Managers about to cross a river.

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

Hard Libor

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Today's mood on Wall Street was upbeat and optimistic. No one was fined or arrested."

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

EPA - Environmental Persecution Agency.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"They think it was an oversight by our oversight committee that caused the recent problems."

"No, I didn't. I never said there should be no government regulation."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'So the age of light touch regulation really is over.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

To The Sorry For The Inconvenience Department

'First, we'll have to form a committee to study the impact this will have on the economy.'

When you fight the system, expect the system to fight back!

'Goldman Sachs defrauds the world!'

Net Neutrality

Federal Department of 'It's for Your Good'.

"And not one mention of 'Volcker Rule'."

'Remember...my door is always revolving!'

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

Federal Guidelines