Federal Regulator Gifts

Being a federal regulator stinks. I'm supposed to police false advertising claims and keep consumers safe. But I have no resources and I'm decried as a bumbling, interfering government bureaucrat. Try our new anti-aging tea. It includes nutrients taken from the local soil proven to reduce stress, cure all disease and heal broken hearts. I'll take two, and the list of side effects in the fine print. Doesn't work. Can cause death.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Tempest in a Teapot

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

World Financial Mafia

Ofwat Sewage Scrutiny

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

Stethoscope line.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Federal Guidelines

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.