Reflective Protector Pillows

"He's learning to stop and search himself."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Save the termites.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"This one I feel like protecting, the others I don't."

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

Poet beside a (literally) babbling brook.

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Drop the can opener!'

"Have they no shame?"

Rabbits $5.

The Moth Menace.

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

"Hon, I'm worried. She's been out there somewhere for 3 hours."

Don

That's it. I'm killing that moth.

Finance Company.

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

Rescuing the Fish in the Flood

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"....We take the slugs into the countryside and release them."

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while a injured cat desribes him

'I want a heavy padlock and two dead bolts on the door.'

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .