Reflections On Life Pillows

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Where Are They Now?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

Desk at the Horizon

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

Metaphors.

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

How's your midlife crisis going, Al? That turned out to be a false alarm, doctor. Today after a heavy lunch I realized it's just a midriff crisis.

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Looking back, I should have said yes when Sophia Loren asked me to elope. Eventually, even hindsight isn't 20/20.

Saguaro Cacti.

"If every day is a gift, where can I return all of last week?"

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"I can't go to our high school reunion, no one will recognize me...Hell, I don't recognize me!"