Reflecting On Life Gifts

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'The last thing I remember saying is, 'it looks like it's gonna be cloudy'.'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

"It says 'Available Now: The Greatest Bloopers of Your Life, available on Pay-Per-View or DVD!'"

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

My Biography - Modern Memorial

"Regrets? Yeah. I didn't live long enough to cherry-pick my cable channels."

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

Fair Life Cycle

'Let's face it - it's far too late for you to become what you might have been...'

Looking back, I should have said yes when Sophia Loren asked me to elope. Eventually, even hindsight isn't 20/20.

"Yeah yeah, you went to Oz when you were a little girl and the rest of your life has been a bitter disappointment."

"Oddly, I never felt more alive, then, 'wham'!"

"I'm leaving my subconscious to science."

"I never wore khakis."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Remember when?... When was that?

Mall of ages

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Desk at the Horizon

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'