Redneck Enthusiast Pillows

The perfect redneck xmas gift.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Dawing your Cellphone

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Jarvis Cocker

The Philip Marlow family

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Wild West Text Showdown

Lee Van Cleef

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'