Red Flag Seeker Pillows

"I'm playing this name game called 'How many red flags can you ignore until you wake up to find you're married to a sociopath?'"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Exit only.

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Laboratory- risk assessor

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'Why do you want an earring? You can't even see it!'