Recruitment Warrior Pillows

"We ran hundreds of ads, searched the state before we got her..."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"I'd give you a list of references but no one will admit they know me."

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

The Great Out-doors

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Well, you're both strong candidates with very similar résumés so we've decided to settle the matter through hand to hand combat."

City Dump: Resumes.

"I see you have a master's degree and have served 73 unpaid internships. Do you think you're ready for a salaried job?'

"We were actually looking to recruit more cats."

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

For a good impression, Jack tired to maintain eye contact.

'Thanks for coming in. We'll get back to you as soon as we lower our expectations.'