Recording Artist Hopeful T-Shirts

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

"I'd like to stay, sir, but time is running out if I want to start a rock group."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Shouting

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

Romney refines his platform.

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

"We could start a band."

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

Lion Toupee