Record Shop Regular Mugs

'Excuse me is this the blues section?'

'Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed...'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Rump roast?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

I wish I'd had the review.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"