Recipe Rustler T-Shirts

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

New Guy.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

Lockdown casserole

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

The Inexperienced Cook

Business News.

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Runner going through hurdles.

Blog Breakdown

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

Beef Wellingtons

But I followed the recipe exactly.