Recipe Rival Gifts

Eggnog recipes

'Prepare to have chowder kick your Tuscan butt.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Come dine with me!

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Blog Breakdown

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'