Recipe Rival Gifts

Eggnog recipes

'Prepare to have chowder kick your Tuscan butt.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Come dine with me!

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

Blog Breakdown

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'