Kitchen Rival Gifts

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Come dine with me!

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Too much cilantro

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

Wedding Chefs

Will work for Food Network.

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

A day in the life of a dish sink

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

Cook and Octopus

The Colonel at home.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"