Recipe Renegade T-Shirts

"If we can't find all the ingredients, we'll just make something horrible."

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

"This recipe turned out awful despite me substituting every major ingredient."

LAY ZEE FUK

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Give him his food."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'